December 21, 2014
Unknowingly I was discouraged a few weeks ago. I never realized that people with cancer celebrate Christmas with cancer. I just never gave it much thought. December had begun and as we approached Christmas, for us it meant that Theo would celebrate Christmas, with cancer. I had been sad about that and I didn’t quite realize it. In addition to sadness I was fighting against two other conflicting tendencies. At times I would rush around to get things done in case Theo and I ended up back in the hospital. At least I could leave a beautifully decorated home full of carefully wrapped presents, right? At other times I wished I could stop time altogether. It was as if I didn’t want Christmas to come at all, because it would be Christmas with cancer, a cloud hanging over all of us.
Around that same time Scott asked me one night what I needed. Just looking at me, and knowing what we had been through that past month, he knew I needed something. He loves me, he cares for me, he wanted to help me. A nap, an afternoon alone, coffee with a friend, a night away? He was ready to make it happen for me. He was so sweet to ask, but I could honestly say that there was nothing that anyone could do for me, not even Scott.
There was really no one and no thing on Earth that could give me peace of mind, joy in spirit, or a Christmas cheer. Christmas is the season we celebrate Jesus coming here to Earth as a baby, the beginning of His journey as our Savior. He came so that we could have peace and joy here on Earth as well as into eternity. I had been processing this as an emotional conflict because it was during this celebratory season that I found myself in the center of a life-threatening disease.
After some time of searching I realized that if I really understood the Christmas season, no conflict existed. Instead, I could celebrate Christmas this year with a deeper appreciation than ever before. Nothing could bring me that peace of mind, joy in Spirit or Christmas cheer, except for Jesus.
I am excited now, because perhaps, just quite possibly, this will be my sweetest Christmas yet.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”