February 4, 2015
Over the summer Scott said to me, “I think you’re going to need extra help this year. I don’t think you’re going to be able to do it all by yourself.”
Our oldest daughter Kiana was on her way to a performing arts school 2 days a week which meant I would need to drive her back and forth and help her keep up with her schoolwork on her off days. Our son Tray was starting Kindergarten which meant I would be homeschooling 5 kids instead of 4. Our “babies” were one year older, which meant our playtime-snacktime-naptime routine might not cut it for much longer.
Scott and I starting praying weekly together about his concern. We asked God to show us what the new school year would look like. We asked Him to provide the help that I would need so each of us, kids and parents alike, could have a successful year. We had no idea our son would be diagnosed with cancer 8 weeks into the school year.
I think women are strong, smart, capable and powerful. I admire women who build careers, who run their own businesses, who make a difference in their community, who earn a lot of money. I look around at our all-female oncology and sedation team at KOP CHOP and I am so thankful those women drive their kids to school and come to work. They are working to save our son’s life.
I hope to go back to work someday, but in this season of my life I believe I am called to be home full-time. I manage our home and disciple our kids – hands on, all day, every day. Scott’s comment could have been hurtful to me. The younger Rebecca would have been really insulted. The current Rebecca was slightly insulted. This isn’t rocket science, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at doing what I do. Why didn’t he think I could handle another year?
I believe God gives husbands an extra dimension – an element of wisdom, discernment and foreknowledge that He doesn’t give wives. Ephesians 5 tells us as wives to respect our husbands. I will be the first to admit that I am proud and I am independent. Try telling me what to do. But year after year in our marriage, there is no denying that life works much better when I listen to Scott. Some examples are more superficial, other examples are really significant. Scott was created to lead our family and only he is fully equipped to do so.
Neither Scott nor I had any idea what God had in store for us this school year. But God gave Scott that extra dimension, extra wisdom, extra foreknowledge leading up to Theo’s diagnosis. Looking back, I believe God has provided so much help and support during Theo’s illness in part because Scott listened to Him, I listened to Scott and then we spent the summer in prayer.
We are only weeks away from Phase 4. This next phase is really going to knock Theo down and he will need a lot of medical support. Our nurses tell me Theo will be at CHOP almost every day for 3 – 7 hours a day. We have a great support team in place now, but I am working to ask a few more people to fill in the gaps.
As I look back at my summer praying with Scott, I am so glad I let him lead.
Ephesians 5:33 (English Standard Version)
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.