Wrapping Up Phase 3

February 11, 2015

Today’s appointment today went really well. Theo’s counts were all up at a record high including an ANC of over 2400. This was the last treatment day of Phase 3 but only Day 41 out of 56. That means Theo gets to take a break for the next 15 days. February 27th will be Day 1 of Phase 4.

We are so thankful and relieved to have finished the first three phases of treatment! We thank God for His mercy toward us. We have had no overnight hospitalizations, we’ve seen only encouraging test results, Theo’s port now works beautifully at every appointment and we’ve been able to keep things almost normal here at home.

We appreciate and love all of our family and friends who have rallied around us. We couldn’t do this without you.

Happy Valentine’s Day

1 John 4:16 & 19
God is love…
We love because He first loved us…


Let Him Lead

February 4, 2015

Over the summer Scott said to me, “I think you’re going to need extra help this year. I don’t think you’re going to be able to do it all by yourself.”

Our oldest daughter Kiana was on her way to a performing arts school 2 days a week which meant I would need to drive her back and forth and help her keep up with her schoolwork on her off days. Our son Tray was starting Kindergarten which meant I would be homeschooling 5 kids instead of 4. Our “babies” were one year older, which meant our playtime-snacktime-naptime routine might not cut it for much longer.

Scott and I starting praying weekly together about his concern. We asked God to show us what the new school year would look like. We asked Him to provide the help that I would need so each of us, kids and parents alike, could have a successful year. We had no idea our son would be diagnosed with cancer 8 weeks into the school year.

I think women are strong, smart, capable and powerful. I admire women who build careers, who run their own businesses, who make a difference in their community, who earn a lot of money. I look around at our all-female oncology and sedation team at KOP CHOP and I am so thankful those women drive their kids to school and come to work. They are working to save our son’s life.

I hope to go back to work someday, but in this season of my life I believe I am called to be home full-time. I manage our home and disciple our kids – hands on, all day, every day. Scott’s comment could have been hurtful to me. The younger Rebecca would have been really insulted. The current Rebecca was slightly insulted. This isn’t rocket science, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at doing what I do. Why didn’t he think I could handle another year?

I believe God gives husbands an extra dimension – an element of wisdom, discernment and foreknowledge that He doesn’t give wives. Ephesians 5 tells us as wives to respect our husbands. I will be the first to admit that I am proud and I am independent. Try telling me what to do. But year after year in our marriage, there is no denying that life works much better when I listen to Scott. Some examples are more superficial, other examples are really significant. Scott was created to lead our family and only he is fully equipped to do so.

Neither Scott nor I had any idea what God had in store for us this school year. But God gave Scott that extra dimension, extra wisdom, extra foreknowledge leading up to Theo’s diagnosis. Looking back, I believe God has provided so much help and support during Theo’s illness in part because Scott listened to Him, I listened to Scott and then we spent the summer in prayer.

We are only weeks away from Phase 4. This next phase is really going to knock Theo down and he will need a lot of medical support. Our nurses tell me Theo will be at CHOP almost every day for 3 – 7 hours a day. We have a great support team in place now, but I am working to ask a few more people to fill in the gaps.

As I look back at my summer praying with Scott, I am so glad I let him lead.

Ephesians 5:33 (English Standard Version)
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.


February 1, 2015

As Tom Brady juggled Deflate-gate last week, we too found ourselves in the middle of a drama. We’ll call it Journal-gate. Nevermind cancer, when you try to homeschool 5 kids with 3 toddlers there is always something going on. And when people are screaming before 8:30am, I know it’s going to be one of those days.

The gist of the story was this, one person wrote in a journal some negative feelings about another person, felt remorseful and threw it in the trash, a third person then found the ripped journal entry and pulled it out of the trash, and read it aloud to a fourth person. Then ensued the screaming.

It doesn’t always happen this way, but the Lord immediately brought some scripture to mind and I called everyone to the kitchen table. Bring your Bible, I said. I don’t ever want to censor my kids’ feelings. And I love to journal and I think it’s a really healthy way to process life. But we were going to need some Biblical perspective and resolution if we were ever going to start school.

I had the kids turn to the book of Psalm. I explained to them that the Psalms were like David’s journal and there were a few things we could learn from him. First, David took the time to talk to God about what was going on in his life. This is evident by the length of the book alone. Second, David wasn’t afraid to share his true feelings with God. He ranted, complained, whined, demanded vengeance, and at times was a bit of a drama queen. Third, David always ended with a word of praise or thanksgiving.

In the midst of cancer and family drama I am glad I don’t have to censor my feelings when I pray to God. I’m glad He can handle whatever I bring in feeling and thought. I don’t have to follow a formula or express something I don’t feel, I can just share whatever is on my mind. And after enough time of my own ranting, whining and drama, I too find myself ending with praise and thanksgiving. I am here for his glory, and He loves me and will never leave me.

Tomorrow is Theo’s next spinal tap and chemo treatment. There’s a sense of familiarity as we get ready for the morning, but seeing him fall asleep under anesthesia is always disturbing. We would ask that you pray for his safety, positive test results and strength as he deals with another round of chemo after his procedure.

Psalm 61
Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Then I will ever sing in praise of your name
and fulfill my vows day after day.